Results
Thank you for applying, but the character as written doesn't work within the setting of the Sailor Myth universe. Please be sure you've read the website, particularly the profiles of our current character roster. The verdict for your application at this time is Reject.
Detailed commentary follows. Asterisks indicate those elements which would require revision in order to reconsider your application.
Character Info
* No Galaxia senshi slots are available yet. Asyrus is not an existing galaxy. If you wish to stay within the Celestial team, please choose from the Stellar, Planeta, Masa, or Astera senshi listed on the website.
* What language is "Ameo Forsa?" Is it something specific?
* It's not possible for her to have died, aged two years, and come back prior to the start of the game. Additionally, your character cannot be immortal.
* As the game takes place in the present day, she cannot have graduated in 2023. (Did you mean 2013?)
* Please name and briefly describe any notable NPCs.
- There is no Dragonheart faction/team in Sailor Myth. All current factions are listed on the Sailor Myth website. If Amy is a senshi based off something found in space, she is a Celestial senshi. If her brother is an important individual, detail what he is like and how he is important, and to who.
- There are many variations of Mercenary work – between bondsman/bondswoman who help police capture criminals who are missing from parole, to members of professional mercenary armies and private security. Please be specific.
History
* As characters in Sailor Myth are human, Amy needs to have been born biologically, from a mother and father.
* There are no other planets known to be holding intelligent life in the Sailor Myth universe, so Amy cannot be named by an off-planet entity.
* If Asyrus is a planet, it would mean Amy is a Planeta senshi, not a Galaxia senshi. However, at present, the only planets with named suitable for use withing Sailor Myth are those planets located in our solar system. (If the IAU allows exoplanets to be properly named at some point in the future, those planets will then be available for application.)
* Please revise so that Amy is a modern-day human with no magical powers or experiences until her first meeting with a guardian. The only magic powers allowed are two senshi powers, which should be based on her power sphere and only available to her when she is transformed. Additionally, psychic power, telepathy, alchemy, unspecified mastery of magic, flight, summoning, gravity control, and unassisted spaceflight are too many powers for a single character to have.
Personality
- What are some examples of Amy's personality in everyday situations? What sort of things does she do?
- How does Amy treat people she has just met? People she has known for a long time? What about people she knows are not evil but who she doesn't get along with? Is she willing to do violence to someone she perceives as evil? How does she determine who is good and evil? (She will mostly be fighting other senshi, who do not look or act like youma from the original Sailor Moon series.) How far will Amy go to put another’s needs before her own? What if someone needs something but she doesn't like them?
Appearance
* One hundred and seventeen pounds isn't enough weight for a character who is five-foot-ten to be voluptuous. If you need reference for determining healthy weight ranges, military weight charts can be handy.
- Four inch heels would add four inches to her height, meaning she would be six-foot-two in them.
- There is nothing wrong with Amy being attractive, but it is unlikely she looks “too perfect to be human."
- What are her makeup habits, aside from heavy? (As in, does she favor a dark or more colorful palette? Does she have a preferred distinctive eye or lip treatment, or does she change makeup styles often?)
Fuku
* Galaxia is a power-level of the Celestial team, and is not available for application at this time.
* An image can serve as a visual aid to accompany written description, but you do still need to write some form of description for this section.
* Full back wings are not allowed until Eternal stage for Celestial senshi.
- Your fuku has several large areas of very bright shades of red/pink coupled with an over-abundance of elements. The large areas of similar color flatten out the design, while the conflagration of elements makes it rather busy. Consider breaking these large color areas apart.
- The fuku lacks stylistic cohesion, with several disparate elements that don't fit a singular theme or design aesthetic. Consider using one distinctive design element, but incorporating it throughout, or choosing a visual element relating to your senshi's power base and basing the fuku around that.
- Additionally, taken individually, most of these elements are on the plain side. (This would quite probably be rectified by choosing a visual element to incorporate throughout.)
Transformation
* What is Parolian?
* While transformation sequences can be simple, it is required that all senshi have them, so her transformation cannot be instantaneous.
* Her transformation also cannot be invisible -- if she is transforming when standing next to someone, they would see her transform, no matter how quickly it occurs.
* Her relic cannot hold any magical properties in civilian form save for allowing her to transform.
Powers
* Magic, weapon summons/fighting style emulation, psychic abilities, summoner, and cosmic power are not described or defined. Senshi have two attacks or abilities that they can access while transformed, or one attack/ability and a weapon. Much like Sailor Moon’s “Moon Tiara Magic,” these are not broad categories, but specific powers that are limited in scope and function. Check out other accepted applications for examples of powers, and the description for powers on the application portion of the Sailor Myth website.
* Additionally, powers should directly relate to your character's power sphere.
Guardian
* Celestial guardians are named for craters found on other planets and moons.
* Guardians cannot transform or be mythical creatures. (Mythical creatures do not currently exist in the Sailor Myth universe.)
* Your guardian cannot be a teenage girl from another world. Please see the website information about guardians.
Explanation
* Celestial senshi need to be based off existing stars, planets, and other space objects. They cannot be made up.
* You state in this section that the relic has no power except for transformation, but described the relic as having the power of fire and plasma above, and go on to describe the relic as having an innate illusion that camouflages it from non-senshi eyes. While your relic can change appearance while your senshi is transformed, it cannot appear differently to different people.
* This area is for you to go into detail about why you made the decisions you did in the earlier portions of the application. For example, why her relic is a sword, or what relation her powers have to her power base.
Writing Sample
* Needs to be in third person, past tense, as all stories in the game are written in this format.
Detailed commentary follows. Asterisks indicate those elements which would require revision in order to reconsider your application.
Character Info
* No Galaxia senshi slots are available yet. Asyrus is not an existing galaxy. If you wish to stay within the Celestial team, please choose from the Stellar, Planeta, Masa, or Astera senshi listed on the website.
* What language is "Ameo Forsa?" Is it something specific?
* It's not possible for her to have died, aged two years, and come back prior to the start of the game. Additionally, your character cannot be immortal.
* As the game takes place in the present day, she cannot have graduated in 2023. (Did you mean 2013?)
* Please name and briefly describe any notable NPCs.
- There is no Dragonheart faction/team in Sailor Myth. All current factions are listed on the Sailor Myth website. If Amy is a senshi based off something found in space, she is a Celestial senshi. If her brother is an important individual, detail what he is like and how he is important, and to who.
- There are many variations of Mercenary work – between bondsman/bondswoman who help police capture criminals who are missing from parole, to members of professional mercenary armies and private security. Please be specific.
History
* As characters in Sailor Myth are human, Amy needs to have been born biologically, from a mother and father.
* There are no other planets known to be holding intelligent life in the Sailor Myth universe, so Amy cannot be named by an off-planet entity.
* If Asyrus is a planet, it would mean Amy is a Planeta senshi, not a Galaxia senshi. However, at present, the only planets with named suitable for use withing Sailor Myth are those planets located in our solar system. (If the IAU allows exoplanets to be properly named at some point in the future, those planets will then be available for application.)
* Please revise so that Amy is a modern-day human with no magical powers or experiences until her first meeting with a guardian. The only magic powers allowed are two senshi powers, which should be based on her power sphere and only available to her when she is transformed. Additionally, psychic power, telepathy, alchemy, unspecified mastery of magic, flight, summoning, gravity control, and unassisted spaceflight are too many powers for a single character to have.
Personality
- What are some examples of Amy's personality in everyday situations? What sort of things does she do?
- How does Amy treat people she has just met? People she has known for a long time? What about people she knows are not evil but who she doesn't get along with? Is she willing to do violence to someone she perceives as evil? How does she determine who is good and evil? (She will mostly be fighting other senshi, who do not look or act like youma from the original Sailor Moon series.) How far will Amy go to put another’s needs before her own? What if someone needs something but she doesn't like them?
Appearance
* One hundred and seventeen pounds isn't enough weight for a character who is five-foot-ten to be voluptuous. If you need reference for determining healthy weight ranges, military weight charts can be handy.
- Four inch heels would add four inches to her height, meaning she would be six-foot-two in them.
- There is nothing wrong with Amy being attractive, but it is unlikely she looks “too perfect to be human."
- What are her makeup habits, aside from heavy? (As in, does she favor a dark or more colorful palette? Does she have a preferred distinctive eye or lip treatment, or does she change makeup styles often?)
Fuku
* Galaxia is a power-level of the Celestial team, and is not available for application at this time.
* An image can serve as a visual aid to accompany written description, but you do still need to write some form of description for this section.
* Full back wings are not allowed until Eternal stage for Celestial senshi.
- Your fuku has several large areas of very bright shades of red/pink coupled with an over-abundance of elements. The large areas of similar color flatten out the design, while the conflagration of elements makes it rather busy. Consider breaking these large color areas apart.
- The fuku lacks stylistic cohesion, with several disparate elements that don't fit a singular theme or design aesthetic. Consider using one distinctive design element, but incorporating it throughout, or choosing a visual element relating to your senshi's power base and basing the fuku around that.
- Additionally, taken individually, most of these elements are on the plain side. (This would quite probably be rectified by choosing a visual element to incorporate throughout.)
Transformation
* What is Parolian?
* While transformation sequences can be simple, it is required that all senshi have them, so her transformation cannot be instantaneous.
* Her transformation also cannot be invisible -- if she is transforming when standing next to someone, they would see her transform, no matter how quickly it occurs.
* Her relic cannot hold any magical properties in civilian form save for allowing her to transform.
Powers
* Magic, weapon summons/fighting style emulation, psychic abilities, summoner, and cosmic power are not described or defined. Senshi have two attacks or abilities that they can access while transformed, or one attack/ability and a weapon. Much like Sailor Moon’s “Moon Tiara Magic,” these are not broad categories, but specific powers that are limited in scope and function. Check out other accepted applications for examples of powers, and the description for powers on the application portion of the Sailor Myth website.
* Additionally, powers should directly relate to your character's power sphere.
Guardian
* Celestial guardians are named for craters found on other planets and moons.
* Guardians cannot transform or be mythical creatures. (Mythical creatures do not currently exist in the Sailor Myth universe.)
* Your guardian cannot be a teenage girl from another world. Please see the website information about guardians.
Explanation
* Celestial senshi need to be based off existing stars, planets, and other space objects. They cannot be made up.
* You state in this section that the relic has no power except for transformation, but described the relic as having the power of fire and plasma above, and go on to describe the relic as having an innate illusion that camouflages it from non-senshi eyes. While your relic can change appearance while your senshi is transformed, it cannot appear differently to different people.
* This area is for you to go into detail about why you made the decisions you did in the earlier portions of the application. For example, why her relic is a sword, or what relation her powers have to her power base.
Writing Sample
* Needs to be in third person, past tense, as all stories in the game are written in this format.